November 16, 2016

“This it?” he asked.

“Yes, everything is cleared out. Here are the keys to my desk and drawers,” I said. “See you at breakfast.” An hour later my supervisor turned his keys into his supervisor.

I handed my final papers and security badge to Human Resources on the way out, said goodbye to a couple of friends, then walked out of the building into a crisp, cool fall afternoon. It was Thursday, a week before Thanksgiving. I had been looking forward to this moment for more than thirty-eight years.

You know how reporters ask athletes how it felt to win the Masters or throw the touchdown pass that won the Super Bowl, and the response is, “I don’t know, it hasn’t sunk in yet. It seems so unreal!” Walking out of that building was my Green Jacket moment, my three-point basket at the buzzer to win the tournament. It felt unreal.. It felt that way throughout the holidays.

I drove out of the parking lot as I had thousands of times. I didn’t feel retired. I exhaled a big sigh of relief as the building disappeared in the rear view mirror. No staff or safety meetings. No meetings! No corporate cliches, office politics or management BS.

“It’s the holidays,” I thought.

The holiday season is one of my favorite times of the year. I typically took long Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. With three-day weekends, paid holidays and vacation time, I was usually off for ten days around Thanksgiving and a couple of weeks during Christmas. As I drove away I felt like I was leaving for the holiday season. The first weeks felt like I was on a long vacation.

Retirement sunk in six weeks later when I did not go back to work after the Christmas holidays. That was the first time I realized I was no longer in my ordinary world, that I had crossed over into something new. It was exciting and strange.

December 17, 2016

I took my first retirement trip the week before Christmas. I booked flights and a hotel for my girls and I to spend four days in Park City, Utah. Unfortunately, I screwed up and booked the trip during my youngest daughter’s finals week. She was such a diligent student she chose to stay home to study and take finals rather than make alternative arrangements with her teachers. I guess that is why she graduated first in class, and I graduated far from first in class; I would have gone skiing.

***

We flew to Salt Lake CIty and took an Uber for the forty-five minute drive to Marriott’s Summit Watch property, one block from Main Street in Old Town. The weather was unseasonably cold, subzero at night single-digit during the day, but we filled our four short days with a lot of time outdoors and in the shops and restaurants along Main Street. We went ice skating at Resort Center Ice Skating and snow tubing at Old Gorgoza Park. We tasted Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegars at Mountain Town Olive Oil, drank hot chocolate at Java Cow Cafe’, browsed Dolly’s Bookstore and looked at local art at Meyer Gallery. We took a lot of family pictures along Main Street next to a large bronze bear and the tall evergreens decorated as Christmas trees.

The Summit Watch is not a ski in/ski out resort, but the base of the Park City mountain and the Town Lift are close. The Town Lift will take you to the gondola/lift at the bottom of the mountain. It is a short walk from the hotel; we ate breakfast a couple of times at The Bridge Cafe and Grill, a Brazilian restaurant near the lift.

The girls skied the last day. Though Town Lift was a short walk, we chose Deer Valley because snowboarders are not allowed. Not that we don’t like snowboarders, but my daughters were beginners and I felt it would be easier to learn without worrying snowboarders. We caught a free shuttle near the hotel and were at Deer Valley in minutes. The facilities were excellent (though $$$$) and the snow was perfect.

Unfortunately I had a ski injury from a bad fall at Mammoth Mountain years before and could not ski with them. I took them to the bunny hill and gave them some “lessons,” then watched them from an outdoor deck at Snow Park Lodge at the base of the mountain. The Burns lift was easy for them to get on and off and Wide West was easy green terrain for them to learn on. It killed me to watch them ski and not be on the slopes with them, even though the sun and the local draft beer were great.

They had a great time and are addicted to the sport. I had a knee replaced during CoVid and I am happy to report that were able to ski together when the CoVid travel restrictions were eased.

***

I highly recommend Park City. We went back in December 2018, this time with all three girls. I like skiing in Colorado and California, but it is so easy to fly into Salt Lake, drive forty-five minutes to Park City than it is to go to Denver and drive to the resorts along I-70. The Summit Watch is near good restaurants and a variety of shops. There is a variety of winter activities and I have read several travel articles that say the summer is great too. If the area wasn’t so expensive I could live there.

***

January 2, 2017

Christmas was great. Family. Good food. Breakfast and lunches with friends. I usually end the holidays by taking the tree down before New Years Day, light the outdoor lights one last time on New Years Day and then pack them away until Thanksgiving. I start my new year sitting on the couch with a Bloody Mary (virgin these days) in front of the TV watching college bowl games. Wisconsin played Western Michigan in the Cotton Bowl, the Rose Bowl featured a PAC-12/Big Ten matchup between USC and Penn State and Oklahoma played Auburn in the Sugar Bowl. I had no interest in any of those teams so the games were background noise as I focused on my other New Year tradition – making my resolutions.

My New Year’s resolutions are things I wanted to accomplish that year to move me towards my long-term goals. For the last several years my resolutions were familiar: career, my children, health (always need to lose weight), the house,, write a novel, and occasionally something about a German sports car that I told you I have a weakness for. These goals had been fairly stable and predictable for years.

I had my first “aha” while I worked on my resolutions. The first resolution was to become more active and lose weight, which was a lot more likely since I didn’t have to spend five days a week hunched over a desk. My second resolution was usually to finish one of the novels that were stored on the hard drive. I always made this a resolution but I didn’t actually think I would write one while I had a full-time job and three girls at home. This year I didn’t have a job and my girls were grown and didn’t need a lot of my time. This year I didn’t have an excuse not to write the novel. I had home improvements I wanted to make and some maintenance that had been neglected. But I no longer had career goals! I had no goals about investing and saving to reach my number; my number was in the bank. I had no goals and resolutions about retiring; I was retired. That felt strange.

“These are not my normal resolutions,” I thought, “because most of the goals I have had since I started my career have been achieved!”

That’s when I realized I wasn’t in Kansas anymore (figuratively). I had wanted to retire for so long and I was focused on achieving a certain amount of savings to get there. But it wasn’t until that moment that I realized that this is a huge change, the biggest change since I went to work after college and started my adult life. No more working for a paycheck. My children are mostly independent and don’t need my time as much as they used to. I had most of the things I wanted. I had complete freedom to decided how I to spend my day. The last time I had that much freedom were the first two summers of high school when I spent the day at the golf course to improve my game to earn a scholarship to play college golf. That was forty-seven years ago!

January 3, 2017

The holidays were over. My youngest was back at high school. My middle daughter went back to college and my oldest was working. I had the house to myself and it was quiet. I woke up early, made coffee and read the news on my laptop. I didn’t have to stop at 7:00 as I usually did to shower and go to work; I sat on the couch as long as I wanted. I started a new exercise routine. I walked four miles in the farmland to the northwest of my house, attempted to meditate and practiced some yoga poses. I did some work on the house, made a list of the improvements I wanted to start soon. I worked on a couple of photography projects I started before I retired. I accomplished a lot and by 2:00 I had my To Do list done. That is when I realized how much time 24/7 was, and I would have 24/7 to myself for the rest of the week, month and year. My friends at work were correct. Twenty-four hours, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year is a lot time.

I felt confident when I accepted the retirement package that I could fill 24/7 with meaningful things. That was before I realized that my main goals had been achieved. If I was going to fill time with meaning and purpose I was going to need a new set of goals. That proved to be more challenging that I thought it would be.